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Dear Dr. Bob:
Valentines' Day is coming and I've got a crush on the mailman. I'm going to send myself a package and be there when he delivers it. I want to answer the door in a pair of Funny Undies. What should they say?
Nervous Nellie

Dear Nervous Nellie:
Sounds like the postman really rings your bell. After much deliberation and many helpful suggestions, we believe we have the answer:
"Insert Male in Slot"
Sincerely,
Dr. Bob (with help from Jeff R. of Louisville KY)

Dr. Bob's Advice for the Loveworn
is a new feature on FunnyUndies.com!
Help Dr. Bob answer the question below. The "best answer" wins a free pair of FunnyUndies shipped discreetly to the person of your choice!

"Dear Dr. Bob,
My wife is nagging me to lose weight. I think I look just fine and I'm tired of hearing about it. What do you suggest I put on a pair of Funny Undies so I can make sure she gets the message?
Fed Up in Cleveland."
send Dr. Bob your answer

 
Past Dr. Bob "Advice for the Loveworn" Contest Winners:
 
Dear Dr. Bob,
It seems whenever I want to try something different in the bedroom, my wife invites the stuffy neighbors over for dinner and then we're not in the mood when they finally leave.
Boring in Vermont
 
Dear Boring in Vermont,
I say give the neighbors a hint to leave while turning up the heat a little. Be a little bit daring! How about a mooing cow pouch? Pick a nice night to wear it... like when those stuffy neighbors come over for dinner. Offer to help your wife do the dishes and bump into her a lot. Maybe the neighbors will "moo-ove" on back to their side of the fence faster! With the two of you trying to keep a straight face in the kitchen and greener pastures on your mind, you won't have any problem keeping it straight in the bedroom later - or being in the MOO-ed!
Best of luck,
Dr. Bob
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Dear Dr. Bob:
I have a date this weekend with a guy who could be "the one!" I am torn between wearing my FunnyUndies THONG that says "Take Me I'm Yours," or my FunnyUndies BOXERS that say "Open Me First." Which should I wear? I don't want to appear too eager!
Confused in Florida

Dear Confused in Florida:
It's no wonder you're confused living in Florida considering the last election, but I think the right thing to wear would be your boxers that say "OPEN ME FIRST".
He may be confused too being he is in Florida also, so this would prove his ability to "follow instructions". His name isn't by any chance "CHAD" is it? If so you're in trouble from the start.
Sincerely,
Dr. Bob (with help from MysticWuv)